I was prepared – my bladder was full to bursting. “I’ll definitely do it,” I promised myself. “Wet myself so that others will be able to see what I’ve done.”I was so aroused by the imagined feel of the pee running out while I was standing in a busy train that I found my fingers wandering. I’d just have to pee more and more; no point holding it back.I really needed to pee a lot and began looking down at my trousers, hiding my crotch behind a newspaper. In my mind, I saw my entire pants getting wet with pee and I could feel it running down into my boots as it had done on so many previous occasions. I didn’t know if anyone was looking at me as that first spurt escaped.Tammy would be so proud.Then it soaked into the material. I could see it clearly. My eyes darted around the faces in the carriage. Could they see it? Suddenly, I felt so ashamed by the thought of it. I just had to get out – I had to get to the toilet.I made urgent steps towards the loo. Pee was dripping down my legs but. George was sufficiently worried that he called Joanna from Norway the next evening. "That sounds pretty bad," Joanna said. "She is not the kind of girl you get 'down' easily. I'll give her a ring and ask her over for dinner." Thanks," George said, "I hoped you would." The only reason I haven't done it before is that I thought it would give her a little time to settle in," Joanna said almost defensively."Jo," George replied, using a nick-name reserved for only the most intimate situations. "Stop apologising. You hardly know the girl. You don't owe her anything." I know George, I know," Joanna said. "But I like her. Besides I promised Helen I would look after you lot. That includes Hannah. I know Helen loved her too."George was silent for a while. When it had become obvious that his wife's lifespan should be counted in days or perhaps even hours, rather than months or weeks, he had called Joanna. She had flown over at once and just exactly made it. Their farewell had been the last time.
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